Hello, lovelies!
This blog post is a little bit tardy, because I’ve been funneling a lot of time and energy into a thing. A Big Thing, actually. This last week I recorded my first (and second, to go live today) video. Ever. I created my first GoFundMe. And I’ve sent out personal emails to a bunch of people from my life, current and past, who’ve had an impact on me.
Those emails ended up being a really interesting and unexpected part of this Thing. I don’t like sending out form emails, especially when I’m reaching out for help, so I started writing little notes, that quickly became little love letters to a number of my recipients. I laughed, I cried, I wrote and wrote.
And then I let them go.
I could have easily—EASILY—obsessed over each and every email I sent out. (And I low key did on a few.) Worrying if I was being too sappy, too vulnerable, too pushy—basically, TOO MUCH. (That’s a pretty standard line women get when they put themselves out there. ‘Quiet down honey, it’s too much.) Like I said, I did have my moments, but in those moments of OMG, I found the presence of mind to remind myself why I’m doing this in the first place: to be vulnerable. To speak up. To USE MY VOICE.
My voice won’t always make people comfortable. It won’t always land the way I want it to. It might come off as a million things I didn’t intend. While I am open and receptive to feedback around pain I unwittingly inflicted on my listeners, readers, friends, and family, that doesn’t automatically equate to me needing to just shut my mouth and sit down.
What is important, for my sanity and productivity, is the ability to let those words go out into the world, step back, and see how they land without letting judgment or fear contract in my belly.
I don’t get to decide who is going to read my emails, listen to my podcast, or book a reading with me. I get to choose how I approach each situation, and then I have to relinquish control over what I’ve brought into the world. It no longer belongs to me, while still being part of me.
If you’d like to donate to my GoFundMe, or just watch me talking into the camera for a few minutes, check out my GoFundMe page! www.bit.ly/SqueakyPodfest2020
Also, I’m now offering a variety of Tarot readings! Check out my offerings page for details.
Lotsa love!
